I was an average child, I suppose.  My mom kept me very busy.  I did gymnastics, took music lessons, went to girl scouts.  I wasn’t fat.  I was just right…..that was, right up until I got a bum knee and had to stop gymnastics.  That was the hole that led me to the world of fat.  Each day before gymnastics, which was twice a week, we would grab ice cream.  It was a good solid treat that kept me going the 2 hours of gymnastics until dinner.  Unfortunately for my ass, we continued this mother/daughter tradition after gymnastics stopped.  In one winter, I managed to spiral out of control from a size 10 to a 14.  It wasn’t until that Spring that my mom started to notice I was getting fatter….I say fatter because at this point I was already fat.  I lived as a size 14 until I developed food allergies.  It took 5 years and lots of poking and prodding for the doctors to discover my allergy problems.  After that, I fell down the hole into the world of starvation.  I literally had so few options with all of my allergies, that I was hardly eating anything.  I was tired, lethargic and miserable.  In about 2 months, I dropped 35 pounds, taking me to the smallest size I’ve ever been, which was a 10.  Thankfully, this was right around the time of my marriage, so I looked stunning in my wedding pictures.  I felt like hell, but I looked great.  So unhealthy!  After I finally figured out alternative foods to eat, I started to gain weight again.  I brought myself back up to a size 14, but in my eyes that was OK because I already had that wardrobe and it was a size I was used to being.  Then came pregnancy (blame the kids for everything!).  I thought I was invincible with CheezWaster and I ate everything from cookies to ice cream, packing on 65 pounds.  My mom told me I was getting too fat.  My doctor said it was fine.  Stupidly, I listened to the doctor (Don’t you know you should always listen to your mother???).  Even after CheezWaster was born, I was still eating 2 ice creams a day.  I mean, I was breastfeeding, and I needed extra calories, right?!  WRONG.  While I should have been losing weight, I wasn’t.  I even gained a few more pounds.  When pregnancy was all said and done, I was wearing a size 18.  The Destroyer was a wash.  I lost every pound I gained with him plus a few more, but I was and am still a size 18.  My size 14 wardrobe still hangs in my closet.  And while I have a lovely, large walk-in closet, it doesn’t hold 2 wardrobes in different sizes.  For the past 3 1/2 years, I have been dressing from my size 18 wardrobe which lays on the floor in front of my dresser.  It is a harsh reminder that I am still fat.  Last night, I started my 10th week of Weight Watchers.  I have lost 15 pounds and I am determined to lose another 50.  Never before did I actually think I would utter the words, “All I want to do is to get back into a size 14.”  But there it is – for the whole world to see.  It may take a year or even 2, but the program really has shown me how much I overate and how much garbage I ate.  Right now, I’m starting to get into that transitional period where I need clothes to bridge the gap between 14 and 18.  My pants are loose and my tops are starting to get baggy.  I don’t have a size 16 wardrobe and I don’t plan to get one.  I’ll purchase a few pairs of pants that will get me through work and everyday and keep trekking along with weight watchers.  Maybe I’ll even try for that size 10 again.  But, for now, I’m just happy losing weight at a normal pace and living a healthier life.  So, here’s to getting rid of the piles of fat on my ass and the piles of fat clothes in front of my dresser!